Thoughts?

I just had a think to myself during the week.
What motivates me to get up every morning. Regardless of the weather, put on my running runners and head out the door. Sometimes I think to myself, why am I running twice a day. Maybe once will do. When I wake up, the last thing I want to do is run. However, it's always the first thing on my ,ind when I wake up. Maybe because I dread it.
Today, I had a 2 hour run. Well it wasn't 2 hours. It was how ever long it took to run up the two mountains and back down to the car park in Marlay Park. I started my run feeling somewhat crap. The feeling didn't get better. I started to worry and then, is my CF getting worse. Then I snapped out of that and realised, when I finish this run u will have done just over 100 miles this week. How could it be CF. When I reached the top of the first mountain (Hell Fire - it's actually the easier out of the two mountains) I was coughing up crap, out of breath and tired. I stopped for a toilet break, tied my runners tighter, said to myself "Evan, you've to do another mountain after this. stop acting like a dope". I then went on my way, flying down the mountain, took a right turn and then carried myself up another mountain. Reached the top, without a cough, and felt elated. It was like some sort of analogy. Taking on, and battling the two mountains. Conquering how I felt an hour before when I was up the other mountain. It sounds cheesy and corny but sometimes that's allowed.
I kicked up some dust on the way back down until I seen a deer at the side of the road, bloody running from his nose and his eyes. I wasn't sure what to do as there was a cyclist and a driver with it, stroking it to "sleep". Either way, what could I do. Massage it? I wasn't stopping my run either. I even ran past the DSPCA. I knew if I stopped at 18miles, I wasn't going to continue running at the same pace. When I got home I felt really bad. But, again, what could I do. In total the run was about 20-21 miles, and apart from the first 6 miles, it was the easiest 20 miles iv ever ran. Good sign.
My next race is the Great Irish Run/National 10k championship. I'm looking forward to it. Iv been training hard and getting the miles in.
After that race I think I'm on a break. I don't really like breaks as I get bored and can't get to sleep. Maybe il cycle to work to use up some energy.